


Amethyst Eyes

by Estrella3791



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: And there's fluff!, Angst, But there's still SOME, F/M, It gets fluffier I promise, Less than I'd like, Nick is a good friend, Oh Judy, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrella3791/pseuds/Estrella3791
Summary: You messed up, Wilde. You messed up.If he’d just said something before now, it might have worked out. If he had told Judy before Jonathon first asked her out, or any of the days since then, it might have worked. But he’d waited too long, and now he had to let her go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story stars one of my biggest OTPs of all time. (Yes, I have more than one. In fact, I probably have more than one for every fandom I have.) I absolutely LOVE Judy and Nick and every aspect of their relationship.  
> I own nothing! (Oh, wait. I have an OC in here. So I guess he's technically mine...? I don't even know how that works, but I don't even want him, so if you like him you can borrow him for whatever you want to use him for. I'll be completely fine with it. But other than him I own nothing!)

Nick Wilde was not an emotional fox. Not to the unaided eye.

Sure, he felt emotions – quite a lot, actually – but he never showed that he did. He just… didn’t. He’d learned something very early on in life: if you want to be successful – at anything – you have to hide your feelings. Never let ‘em see that they get to you.

Every time he’d been tempted to drop his tough guy façade over his hustling years, he’d remembered the feeling of the cold steel muzzle against his fur and the mocking laughter of the scouts. It had always been enough to send those pesky emotions scurrying back where they came from. For years he’d kept his feelings tightly under lock and key, rarely letting them ever even peek at the light of day. You just can’t let anyone see how you feel. Being genuine is dangerous, because then people will see your weaknesses and take advantage of them and find a way to hurt you.

So, while he had changed a lot when he met Judy – the fact that he had become a cop was proof enough of that – he was still mostly programmed to hide everything. She somehow managed to coerce him into talking about his feelings (more than once, even) but then she was his best friend. With anyone else, he managed to keep his emotion-hiding walls up, but since every time he tried to throw them up around her, she knocked them down into tiny shambles, he’d mostly given up on trying hide anything from her.

However, he was still a (kind of) hustler – after all, you can take the fox off of the streets, but you can’t quite keep all of the streets out of the fox – and he still hid his feelings quite well

So when Judy’s boyfriend of one-and-a-half years (okay, almost two) asked Nick if it was all right with him (Nick) if he (the rabbit – his name was Jonathon Small) asked her (Judy) to marry him, Nick managed to keep his complete and mind-numbing shock to himself. Mostly.

“You all right, Nick?” Jonathon asked him after awhile, looking concerned. Nick suddenly realized that he had been frozen in the act of lifting his coffee cup to his mouth for the past three minutes and shook himself.

“Y-yeah, definitely. Yeah. I’m… fine. Yeah.” Nick forced himself to chuckle and then lift the cup to his mouth and take a sip of the latte. Some part of his mind noticed that there was absolutely no taste to the drink, but the rest of his mind shushed it. When he looked up, Jonathon looked concerned.

“Are you sure? You… you’re not usually like this. I mean, as long as I’ve known you you’ve had a comeback for everything.”

Nick felt his face fall. It was true. He was usually Mr. Punchline. But, somehow, his brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders at that moment. Which had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that someone else was going to ask Judy to marry them. Not him. She wasn’t going to marry him. 

And that didn’t make him feel like punching something. Nope. Not at all.

Nick shook himself - Jonathon was still sitting there, waiting for an answer - and tried to force his mind back into action. 

“No, I’m fine, really. You just...” Nick cleared his throat. Why not be honest? After all, he’d known the guy forever. Well, not forever. Only as long as the guy had been dating Judy. But that was still a long time! “You just surprised me a little. That’s all. I just… I didn’t know you were… so serious.”

Jonathon looked relieved and took a sip of his coffee.

“I know it might be a little surprising, but after almost two years… well… something had to happen. And… I know it might sound silly, but I want to spend my life with Judy. I love her so much. She’s just… she’s amazing, you know?”

“Oh, I know,” Nick said softly, before shaking himself again. _Get it together, Wilde! _“She is pretty amazing, isn’t she?”__

____

Jonathon nodded, looking dreamy.

__

“I just… I wanted to ask you first. Since, you know, you’re her best friend. She… you’re the most important person in her life. I haven’t even talked to her dad yet, because it won’t matter unless you approve first. So… do-do we have that? Your approval?”

__

Time seemed to slow down. Nick set his cup down on the table and tried to remember how to breathe, since he seemed to have forgotten.

__

_In, out, repeat. You’ve been doing this all your life. ___

_____ _

Judy was going to marry someone.

_____ _

She was going to marry someone who was not him.

_____ _

That was completely, totally, 100 % fine. 

_____ _

Except that it wasn’t. It was completely, totally, 1,000% not fine. 

_____ _

Why not, you ask? 

_____ _

Nick felt the answer flood his brain, his mind, his heart.

_____ _

_Because I love her._

_______ _ _ _

He loved her.

_______ _ _ _

Oh, gosh, he loved her so much. He loved the way her nose twitched and the way her feet tapped and her ears and her eyes and the way she was _Judy _.__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

He looked at Jonathon. He looked at the dark fur and the blue eyes and the nervous tapping his fingers were doing on the table as he waited for Nick to answer. He wished with all his heart that he could give the answer that he himself wanted, but knew that it was too late.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_You messed up, Wilde. You messed up. ___

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

If he’d just said something before now, it might have worked out. If he had told Judy before Jonathon first asked her out, or any of the days since then, it might have worked. But he’d waited too long, and now he had to let her go.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Absolutely.” It would be better this way. Judy would be so much happier with another rabbit than a fox, and she’d once told him that Jonathon was the buck of her teenage dreams. It would be better this way, for all of them… if his heart would ever get itself back out of his toes. “Hey, congrats, buddy!” he said, forcing a smile and extending his hand. Jonathon looked like he was ready to melt into a puddle of relief on the café floor.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh, thank goodness,” he said, an enormous grin sneaking onto his face as he gripped Nick’s hand. It occurred to Nick that the poor buck had probably been inwardly writhing in agony the entire duration of their ‘weekly guy time’ – AKA the couple of hours every week that Judy forced them to go out and ‘do something manly, like talk over coffee.’ (Judy’s words, not theirs, as Jonathon often clarified.) The fact that the buck cared so much about Judy warmed Nick’s heart a little, and he felt a little genuineness work its way into his smile.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“How are you going to ask her?” he eventually said, after he’d assured Jonathon that he never would have bitten him and mentally noted that asking him (Nick) before Judy’s father had scored the loverbunny some points.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jonathon chewed on his lower lip.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Well,” he began, and Nick raised an eyebrow. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_You better have given this some thought or I’m going to send you packing and ask Judy to marry ME. ___

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__On second thought that wouldn’t be a bad thing._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“I was hoping that you’d help me.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Just when he was getting his hopes up._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Nick fidgeted with his tie as he waited behind the kitchen door and tried not to yawn. It had been a very long day. He’d been running around all day, trying his hardest to make sure everything was perfect. He may not have been proposing to Judy, but someone was, which meant it was going to be one of the biggest days of her life, and Nick was determined to make it as perfect as foxily possible._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__They’d carefully planned everything, Jonathon and he. Jonathon had invited Judy to a romantic dinner. What he had not mentioned was that he would be bringing her back to his apartment, where Nick had spent all afternoon setting up tables and arranging candles and carefully coordinating silverware. Nick would be the ‘waiter,’ and, at the end of the meal, he’d slip the ring to Jonathon, which is when the buck would ask Judy to marry him. Nick would be standing by with an extra large ice cream cake – Judy’s favorite – to celebrate with._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__The creak of the door opening made Nick snap to attention. Judy’s melodic laugh filled the room, and Nick felt himself smiling at the sound. He tried not to let himself think about how much it hurt to know that it would be Jonathon hearing that laugh more than anyone else for the rest of her life._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Ooh! Fancy!” he heard Judy exclaim, and Jonathon chuckled as he pulled out her chair. The squeak of the chair against the floor was Nick’s signal, and he pasted on a smile before stepping into the ‘dining area.’_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Hi, I’m Nicholas, and I’ll be your server this evening,” he said in an accent which was really just a mixture French and maybe just a little Italiano._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy’s eyes widened when she saw him, and he forced his heart to slow a little bit at the amethyst gaze._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Holy schnitzel. She’s gorgeous._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Apparently Jonathon had told her to dress up. She was wearing a deep purple dress with a silver bracelet on her arm and… wait… was it… it was! It was his necklace! She was wearing his necklace!_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Once they had been walking through Zootopia after solving a tough case. Judy had been not-so-subtly admiring a silver necklace in a display case at a jewelry store. Nick had pretended indifference and then bought it for her birthday two months later._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__When she’d looked up at him after opening the box there had been tears in her eyes, and he’d almost had a panic attack before she threw herself at him and her arms around his shoulders._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she’d mumbled into his shoulder, and he’d shrugged, forcing himself to appear indifferent even though he was inwardly delighted._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“You bunnies. You’re so emotional,” he’d chuckled, patting her back, and she’d giggled, the sound muffled by his shoulder. Just before he’d pried her off of him and set her gently back on the ground, he’d whispered a quiet “You’re welcome,” into her ear._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__The fact that she was wearing it now was enough to make him have a low-key heart attack – or would be if he didn’t know that bunnies have exceptional hearing and Judy would realize that his heart rate was accelerated and that could possibly ruin her night. So he forced himself to calm down and reassumed his accent._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“We have a lovely Caesar salad to start off, which will be followed by some carrot soup to wash it down and then fettuccine Alfredo for the main course. Dessert will remain a surprise.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy’s eyes had gotten progressively wider as he listed favorite food after favorite food, and he couldn’t resist winking at her. Her smile was enough to reward him for coming up with the menu and then spending a significant portion of the day in the kitchen, and he smiled back as he retreated back into the kitchen to pick up the two chilled plates of salad._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__The evening passed perfectly. Nick felt the ring burning a hole in his pocket from where he’d stowed it right before Jonathon left, and he tried to ignore the pangs his heart was giving as he watched Judy smile at Jonathon with that special sparkle she had sometimes._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__It’s your own fault, Wilde. If you’d just said something before now, she wouldn’t be marrying someone else._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__He only just managed to keep from whimpering at the thought, but he knew that if he did then the two rabbits would hear him and he could not mess up this evening. Judy’s evening._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Time passed swiftly, and when Jonathon gave the signal Nick strode forward with the most genuine con artist smile he’d ever made._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Will there be anything else this evening, sir?”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Yes. I’d like to have the Judy special.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy’s brow furrowed._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“What are you talking about?”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Nick winked at her as he slipped the ring out of his pocket and handed it to Jonathon with a bow._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“There you are, Monsieur.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy had a completely bewildered look on her face._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“J-Jonathon?” she looked to her almost fiancé._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Jonathon got off of his chair and down on one knee._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Two years ago I was one of the loneliest bucks in Zootopia. I had thought about throwing my life away many, many times. But then on one dark, gloomy night, I met an angel, an angel in a police uniform with a fox by her side. She saved me from myself, and I’ve never been the same. Judy, you are my angel, and I can’t think of anything I want more than to make you my wife.” He held up the open velvet-lined box so Judy could see the sparkling ring. Nick could see that the rabbit was holding his breath. “Judith Laverne Hopps, will you marry me?”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy looked like she’d been hit over the head with a frying pan by a mouse. “I – I –” She turned her head to look at Nick. There were tears in her eyes. He involuntarily took a step forward._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Judy?” Jonathon was looking between the two of them, a confused expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy looked at Jonathon and then back at Nick._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Nick, what’s happening?”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Nick tried very hard not to look at Jonathon’s hurt face. He could almost read the rabbit’s mind. Why would she turn to him instead of her boyfriend? True to form, though, Nick had a response almost without thinking about it._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“It’s called a proposal, sweetheart.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy’s eyes flickered at the reference to when they first met, but she said nothing. Nick could tell that she was feeling completely overwhelmed, and he wanted nothing more than to rush over and scoop her up and hold her close, but her fiancé was in the room and it wouldn’t have been right._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Judy. Come on, Judy. It’s okay.” Nick wanted to shout at Jonathon that that was not the way to calm Judy down when she was feeling swamped by life and why was he even dating her if he didn’t know those things, but he managed to control himself and just maintain reassuring eye contact with his favorite bunny._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“I… why are…”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Jonathon looked almost as confused as Judy did._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to move our relationship forward. Don’t you?” Jonathon flashed her what he probably thought was a reassuring smile._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“No.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__The answer was low and quiet but it seemed to echo in the room. Nick blinked. Jonathon looked stunned._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“No?” he repeated in disbelief._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“No.” Judy’s reply sounded more confident the second time around. “No, I don’t want to move our relationship forward.”  
Jonathon’s eyes flashed. Nick couldn’t really blame him for getting upset. He’d probably feel the same way if his girlfriend of two years turned down his proposal._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“So it’s all been a joke? You never even cared?”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“I… I didn’t know that I didn’t until now. I thought I loved you. I really did.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Jonathon looked completely frustrated._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“I love you. I love you, Judy. And you were just stringing me along all this time. I can’t believe it.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy’s eyes welled up._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Jonathon, I didn’t mean to! It... I didn’t mean to. I didn’t. I really thought…” She looked down at the table. “I thought I loved you. I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Stop it!” Jonathon slammed his hands on the table, making both Nick and Judy jump. There was fire in his eyes. “Stop apologizing!” He buried his face in his hands._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Tears slipped down Judy’s cheeks. Nick felt like crying, too. How had this gone so wrong?_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Jonathon…” Her voice sounded so weak. Jonathon raised his head, and there were tears in his eyes, too._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Say it, Judy. Tell me you don’t love me and don’t want to marry me, and I’ll leave you alone. You can go. Just… I need to hear you say it. Please.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Judy was openly sobbing, now. Nick could guess that it hurt her worse to break someone’s heart than to have her own broken. Tender-hearted bunny._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“I…” Judy could hardly talk through her tears. “I don’t love you, Jonathon. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Jonathon nodded slowly before standing up and opening the door of his apartment._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Okay. Get out.”_ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“Wh-what?” Judy sniffled. She sounded like her world had just fallen apart._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__“I think Jonathon would like some time alone,” Nick said gently, helping her out of her chair. “Let’s give him some space, hmm?” He prided himself on not showing how unbecomingly happy he was at this turn of events._ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___I am not absolutely thrilled that she is once again single. I am not. I am not. _____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____Jonathon held up a hand right before they were about to leave._ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____“Judy…” he said softly, seemingly unable to lift his eyes to hers. Both Judy and Nick waited. Jonathon didn’t say anything. He just threw his arms around Judy one last time. “Thank you,” he said finally, with tears in his voice. “For trying.”_ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____“No,” Judy sobbed, “Thank _you _.”___ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______There was one last embrace before Jonathon released Judy._ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______And then they left and the door closed and it was over._ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______Nick thought about taking Judy home, but it only took one small tear sliding down her cheek to convince him that that was a terrible idea. She was in no shape to be going home to her horrible apartment by herself. But he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable._ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______At this point, however, that was at the bottom of the concern list._ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______“Let’s get you home,” he said gently, not mentioning that he was talking about _his _home. Judy didn’t respond at all. “Carrots?” He crouched down to her level, trying to elicit a response. She looked completely shell-shocked.___ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can’t… I can’t believe that that happened. We broke up. He… how did that happen?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She turned anguish-filled eyes towards his. He felt his heart break at the pain in her gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Judy…” he didn’t know what to say. “I’m really, really sorry. We… you need to get to bed. Maybe in the morning it’ll all feel better.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Oh gosh. He didn’t know how to deal with heartbroken bunnies. Judy sniffled and then looked up at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t want to go home, Nick. I don’t want to be all alone…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shh.” Nick leaned down to look into her eyes. “It’s okay. You're going to come home with me. You can sleep until you feel like getting up, and we can eat waffles for breakfast, and we can watch Wrangled. It’ll be okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Judy wiped her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nick grabbed her hand, because it felt like the right thing to do, and led her towards the subway station._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She fell asleep on his shoulder on the train, and he carried her the five blocks to his apartment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When she was comfortably settled on his bed – he thanked whatever deity had prompted him to change his sheets that morning – with a glass of water, a box of tissues, her phone, and several chocolate bars (he figured that she might not want to see anyone the next morning, and the least he could do was make sure that she didn’t _have _to see anyone the next morning) he curled up on the sofa and closed his eyes, hoping to goodness that she wouldn’t think that he’d taken advantage of her.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Because he would never do that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He had the uncomfortable feeling that there were many other animals that would, and it made him feel very fiercely determined to protect her from all of them. He wanted so badly to wake up with her every morning. To slip a protective (and possessive) arm around her waist when she got checked out by anybody in public. To be able to, on spontaneous occasions, make her carrot cake, which, despite her intense desire to live a healthy lifestyle, she had a weakness for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He wanted to work up the courage to tell her loved her more than anybody else in the entire city – country – world, and that he always would. That she was the most beautiful bunny he’d ever laid eyes on, and that he wanted her to be happy more than he wanted anything else in the world. And maybe, someday, when her heart had healed, he would._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He fell asleep dreaming of amethyst eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Emerald Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was pretty lucky to have a guy like Nicholas Wilde for a friend, she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... Oops. So I completely meant to post this like two days ago, but then life happened and... yeah. Sorry about the wait.   
> This chapter is basically filler, because I decided that I wanted three chapters, but I like most of it. It's a little shorter than the first one, but hopefully I'll make up for that next time. :)  
> Enjoy!

Judy awoke to a clattering and some muffled curses coming from the kitchen. She flew into a sitting position, wondering why on earth someone would break into her shabby little apartment. She didn’t have anything worth stealing! But then the events of last night flooded into her mind and she fell back onto her pillow – no, Nick’s pillow – with a sigh. 

So she and Jonathon were over. She supposed that she should have seen it coming. He’d brought up marriage more than once, but she’d always brushed it off, assuming that she would have to deal with it at some point in the future and tell him that she wasn’t really serious about their relationship and that if he was, they would have to part ways. She’d been meaning to bring it up at some point, tell him that, honestly, she’d been more in love with him the day after they’d met than she was now, but she’d never been able to scrape the courage together. She didn’t want to hurt him.

Jonathon was such a sweet buck. She remembered confiding in Nick after a movie night in his apartment that he (Jonathon, not Nick, of course) was the kind of guy she’d always dreamed about marrying as a girl. He was supportive of her dreams. He never got upset when she missed a date because she was chasing a lead. Sometimes he would even come to the station with a burger and some fries, just to make sure that she remembered to eat something in between her cases. 

She felt a prickling in her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. Jonathon was one of a kind, and she’d been foolish to let him go. She hated knowing that she had hurt him.

And yet… the spark just hadn’t been there. She’d felt flattered by his compliments and she loved the attention he paid her, but she didn’t love him. She’d told herself that it was silly, that she’d get over this doubt in herself and her affection, that she and Jonathon would be happy together. And then he’d proposed, over a candlelit dinner that he’d put so much effort into, and she hadn’t felt anything. There were no butterflies in her stomach. Her heart didn’t flutter. There was nothing in her that had wanted to say yes. It was then that she’d known that she could never marry Jonathon, because no matter how sweet and kind and good he was she just couldn’t spend the rest of her life with someone that she didn’t love. 

The prickling behind her eyes had turned into tears sliding down her cheeks, and she whimpered as she remembered the look on Jonathon’s face. The whole situation was terrible. She felt like she’d strung Jonathon along all this time, and that hurt her. She could taste the bitter tang of guilt, and she did not enjoy it. She didn’t like hurting people. She hated it, even when it was absolutely necessary.

She wished with all her heart that she’d realized her lack of love for Jonathon earlier.

The tears turned into sobs, and she burrowed her face into the pillow to try to quiet them. She’d just started calming down when she heard the door open and Nick creep in. He set something down on the bedside table and then she felt the bed creak and bend under his weight as he sat down. 

“Hey, Carrots,” he said softly, and a warm hand came to rub her back gently. She felt herself tense up, and he quickly removed the offending paw. “Rough night, huh?” She just wiped her eyes in response, and he sighed. “I’m really, really sorry, Judy. I thought… I’m really sorry. It’s just a lousy situation, isn’t it?”

“It’s awful!” Judy wailed suddenly, making Nick jump. “I don’t want to marry him, and I made him c-cry, and I m-made you worried about me, and it’s all my f-fault, and now I’m sitting here crying like a h-heartbroken _kitten _…” she trailed off into sobs again, not noticing the wince that Nick made as soon as she started talking about herself in an unfavorable light. Covering her face with her hands, Judy found herself being pulled into Nick’s arms, and she buried her face in his shoulder, trying desperately to stop the tears.__

__“Shh,” he crooned, “It’s okay, Judy. This isn’t your fault. It’s going to be okay.”_ _

__“Yeah?” she sniffled into his shoulder. He didn’t say anything about the snot she was rubbing all over his shirt like he normally would. Instead, he held her tighter, and she felt safer than she could remember feeling in a while._ _

__“Yeah,” he said, and somewhere deep down she started to believe him._ _

__“Thank you,” she said in a voice raspy from tears. “I’m sorry that I’m being such a burden. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”_ _

__Nick was very still for a moment, and then he was holding her at arm’s length and looking into her eyes very intently._ _

__“Judy,” he said, “You are not a burden. You could never be a burden to me.” When she just looked at him he shook his head for emphasis. “ _Never _.”___ _

____Judy felt her eyes sting again, and she hid her face and, by extension, the tears, in his shoulder._ _ _ _

____“Thank you, Nick,” she said again. “You’re such a good friend.”_ _ _ _

____And this time she pulled her own face out of his shoulder and gave him a genuine, albeit watery and slightly sad, smile. His shoulders relaxed, and he let out an exaggerated sigh of relief._ _ _ _

____“Thank goodness that’s over,” he said. “Too many emotions happening there.”_ _ _ _

____Judy just rolled her eyes at him, and he winked at her, before reaching over to the bedside table._ _ _ _

____“I brought you waffles,” he said, presenting the plate like it was a paper declaring her to be Chief of the ZPD._ _ _ _

____She received it with admittedly less enthusiasm than he was displaying as he gave it to her, but she did have some degree of excitement on her face – after all, it wasn’t every day she got served chocolate chip waffles in bed – and Nick seemed to count it as a win, because a self-satisfied grin pulled on his lips._ _ _ _

____"So that noise I heard... you didn't just scrape these off the floor, did you?" Judy asked, and Nick's smile flew off of his face._ _ _ _

____"You heard that, did you?" he asked, sounding a little crestfallen. She nodded. "Yeah, that... Let's just say that I'm not the most dextrous of foxes this early in the morning. And no," he suddenly responded to her actual question, "I did _not _scrape them off the floor. I made a fresh batch. You should be proud of me."___ _ _ _

______"I am," Judy laughed, and he smiled back at her. "Thank you for your dedication and back-breaking labor."_ _ _ _ _ _

______He grinned at her, and then abruptly left the room. For a moment she worried that she’d offended him with her tears and wailing, but then he came back in with his own plate, and she breathed a sigh of relief. He sat down beside her, licking his chops._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bon appétit, mi amiga,” he said with the usual degree of Wilde flair._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thanks,” she said with a smile. Before he could respond, his stomach growled more loudly than she could have shouted, and she broke down into the kind of hysterical giggles that come after you’ve just recovered from a highly emotional experience. He frowned, clearly embarrassed, and she laughed harder._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Too much sadness makes me hungry, okay?” he said defensively, and she grinned at him unrepentantly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sure, sure,” she said, before digging into her own plate. The waffles were, by some miracle, still warm even after her meltdown, and they were delicious. She let out a moan of delight, not noticing Nick stiffening beside her at the noise. “These are amazing,” she said around a mouthful of whipped cream, and he shook himself out of whatever had taken over his mind for a moment._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why, thank you, kind ma’am,” he said. She smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re welcome.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He chuckled, and they ate in companionable silence for a while, and when their plates were clear Nick took hers and left to put both in the dishwasher. Judy sat on the bed, debating the merits of getting out of bed. Finally the urge to stretch her legs took over, and she padded down the hall into the kitchen._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey!” she said, noting with a mixture of amusement and displeasure that he had put the dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher. Nick, with his head buried in the refrigerator, jumped guiltily when he heard her voice and bumped his head on the top of it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rubbing his head, he stood up, carefully avoiding the top of the fridge this time, and asked, “What?” She pointed wordlessly at the sink, and he stalked across the kitchen, grumbling under his breath the entire time, and deposited the plates in the dishwasher. She chuckled to herself. He was like a child sometimes. “So what’s on the agenda for today?” Nick asked as he ambled back across the kitchen and returned his head to the depths of the fridge. Judy looked up from her doodling fingers. (Nick had learned long ago to keep a pen and some paper on the counter if he didn’t want everything in the cupboards to be rearranged regularly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nick bumped his head on the door this time. “Um… did I just have the worst night of my life last night? No. No, I did not.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Judy felt a rush of gratitude that she was lucky enough to have Nicholas Wilde as a best friend._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, if you put it that way…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nick chuckled at her. She grinned. “I seem to remember you suggesting Wrangled last night. Is that right?” Nick threw his head back and groaned._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were kind of devastated, Judy. I would have said anything to try to cheer you up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Judy smiled even wider._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh. Well, I’m still pretty upset.” She felt her face fall for a moment as she reflected on how true that was, but quickly pulled herself together and kept talking. “So I guess it’s either watch the princess movie or deal with a heartbroken bunny.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nick quickly held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I never said I wouldn’t watch the movie.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She sniggered at how nervous the thought made him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re a goof. You know that?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He gave her a lopsided smirk. “You like me anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She grinned back._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re right,” she said. “I do.” She let her hand drag the pen in lazy circles for a minute, and then she looked up at him. “You like me, too, I’ve been told.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah?” he said, leaning against the counter. “Who’s your source?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“McHorn,” she said. “I was a little surprised that he’d noticed.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She couldn’t really place the expression that crept across Nick’s face, but it was gone in a minute and replaced with his confident ‘don’t-I-make-your-heart-speed-up’ grin. He sauntered over to his movie cabinet and she went back to her doodling. “It’d be kind of hard to miss, Carrots.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______There was something in his tone that made her look up at him sharply, but he was pulling a DVD case out of the cupboard with a satisfied “Aha! Here we are!” He flipped the case around for her inspection. It was Wrangled. She smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Perfect.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______When the end credits rolled, she pounced on Nick and shook him awake._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Nick! Wake up! It’s over!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______That only produced a muffled ‘mrrggh,’ so she pulled out the big guns._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m hungry! Can we find something to eat?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The mention of food jerked Nick awake more quickly than an ice cube down his back would have. “You betcha, Carrots.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Judy raised an eyebrow as he retrieved a can of soda and a pint of ice cream from the fridge and the freezer respectively. He held up a finger and then went back to digging around before pulling out a pre-made salad and a carton of apple juice. Judy nodded approvingly and wandered over to help him carry the food out to the living room. He shook his head at her as she poured herself a glass of juice and she looked at him inquisitively._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you ever let loose?” he asked. She rolled her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Just because I take notice of what I eat does not mean that I’m uptight, Nick.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He made a noise of protest that was muffled by his mouthful of ice cream._ _ _ _ _ _

______“But all you ever eat is rabbit food!” She gave him ‘the look’ and he hastily rephrased his statement. “I mean, obviously. Anything you eat would be rabbit food, technically, I guess.” She doubled the intensity of ‘the look’ and this time he gave it back to her. “Everything you eat is healthy! How can that be good for you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Really?” Judy said. “Did you at all consider that statement before you said it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Nope,” he said cheerfully, taking a big gulp of soda. She rolled her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And for your information, eating healthy food can, astonishingly, be good for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nick shrugged and picked up the remote, pulling up his Netflix account. “Whatever you say, Carrots.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Several hours and one season of Sherlock later found Nick and Judy deep in a debate about whether Sherlock Hounds or John Warthog was the better character._ _ _ _ _ _

______“But Sherlock solves all the crimes! I mean, he just looked at that guy, and he knew what had happened,” Nick said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sure, but John puts up with so much from everybody. He might not be as smart, but he’s still a better person.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nick opened his mouth to argue, but Judy’s rumbling stomach interrupted him. Nick stared at her in shock before they both erupted in laughter._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That was _so _loud!” He gasped in between guffaws. Judy was laughing too hard to respond, and she knew that her face, underneath of her fur, was bright red. When they finally calmed down, he switched off the TV and stood up. “I guess we should feed you before you decide to try fox, huh?”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Judy chuckled and nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m partial to burgers,” she said. Nick gave her an ‘are-you-feeling-okay’ look._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Judy,” he said slowly, as if he were talking to a small child, “you just gave me a lecture on eating healthy. Are you seriously going to…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh, hush,” Judy said, shrugging her jacket on. “I wasn’t feeling well.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nick just shook his head and reached for his keys._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That night, Judy stared at her ceiling and contemplated. After they’d left Nick’s apartment, they’d made their way over to the nearest Bugga Burger and slipped into their favorite corner booth. Then they’d quietly made fun of the patrons (Nick) and mentioned all of the patrons’ potential greatness (Judy)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After that, they’d gone on a stroll downtown and window shopped for a while. She'd seen a ring that vaguely reminded her of the one Jonathon had used last night and had hurriedly turned away, and Nick, after one look at her downcast face, had decreed that an ice cream was in order. He'd tripped and buried his nose in his blueberry cone, and she'd laughed until her stomach hurt. Nick had tried to look offended, but he'd just looked at her fondly, and she'd felt warm and fuzzy. She'd decided that that was exactly the note she wanted to end the night on, so then she'd asked Nick to walk her home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But she wasn’t reflecting on the particulars. She was thinking about Nick, and, in particular, the way he’d been acting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She’d been a mess this morning, and the tears and sobs hadn’t driven him away, but instead drawn him closer. He’d held her when she cried and fed her when she was hungry and comforted her when she was sad. He tried so hard to hide the fact that he was a big softie, but in the end it always came out. A fond smile crept onto her lips as she thought about the panic on his face when he’d thought she was going to start crying when they were in Bugga Burger. A couple had walked by, paws intertwined, and she’d been on a sugar rush from the milkshake that she’d decided to add to her order. She’d pretended to gaze wistfully out the window, and when she snuck a look at Nick, he looked closer to tears than she was pretending to be. She’d burst into giggles and he’d pretended to glare at her, but she’d seen a warmth inside his eyes that had caught her off guard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was such a nice guy. He tried so hard to keep up his ‘hustler’ façade, but his heart was just too soft for him to be a tough guy. He might not tell her that she was great and he really, really liked her, and maybe he’d never said out loud that she was his best friend, but he really didn’t need to. It shone through his actions, through the way that he’d made her waffles this morning and subtly paid for her meal at Bugga’s. It was obvious through the way that he brought her coffee in the morning and the way that he knew she had a headache almost before she did – and the bottles of water and pills that he’d bring her before she’d ask for them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was pretty lucky to have a guy like Nicholas Wilde for a friend, she thought, and she drifted off to sleep thinking of emerald eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh... I don't know if the parallel was the best way to wrap it up, but I was also really struggling with how to end the chapter. Apparently writing when I'm sick is not a great idea. My brain was really floundering towards the end, which is why it gets so choppy.   
> Anyway, enough excuses. (The most valid reason is that I'm just lazy.)   
> Opinions would be most welcome, but don't feel pressured. :)  
> I hope that you liked it!


	3. Sly Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not saying that I’m doubting Bogo!” Nick said defensively. “I’m just saying that the way the posts are wobbling worries me.”
> 
> “Posts do that on every roller coaster,” Judy told him. “Now are we going to get on it or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the long-awaited finale! (Just kidding... it wasn't that long awaited.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!!!

Nick shook his head.

“No way. Absolutely, one hundred percent, no way.” 

Judy looked up at him, using her big purple eyes to the best of her ability – which, as Nick knew better than anyone, was pretty darn well.

“But Niiiick,” she wheedled, “the Flying Serpent is the highest roller coaster anyone has ever built in Zootopia. And, not only that, but it was mostly sponsored by Mr. Big, which makes us emotionally connected. We have to ride it!” 

Nick eyed the rickety structure and the (to his eyes, anyway) woefully inadequate safety belts and shook his head even more firmly.

“Judy,” he said, in much the same tone he’d used with her youngest siblings when they’d tried to convince him to go sliding off of the barn roof, “we are not riding that thing. It is not happening. I did not allow myself to be dragged to this carnival just to die.”

“Spoilsport. Are you afraid of a little action?”

Nick scoffed. 

“Afraid of a little action? Me? Who’s the one who convinced you to cross that bridge back in Rainforest District when we were chasing that zebra? Hmm? Nicholas P. Wilde is most definitely not afraid of a little action. He is, however, concerned about the fact that those poles shake more every time the car goes over them.”

Judy scoffed right back at him and planted her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, right. You are terrified, aren’t you? Can’t take a little thrill in your life?”

“I’m little more worried about the thrill taking my life,” Nick said with a slightly apprehensive expression. “I’m pretty sure that that thing is not safety approved.”

Judy rubbed at her face with one paw, stuffing the other in her right pocket.

“Nick. Chief Bogo himself went over the paperwork. It’s pretty hard to get more safety approved than that.” Nick stayed silent, and she raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to doubt the word of Bogo, Nick? Because that would be a really bad idea.”

“I’m not saying that I’m doubting Bogo!” Nick said defensively. “I’m just saying that the way the posts are wobbling worries me.”

“Posts do that on every roller coaster,” Judy told him. “Now are we going to get on it or what?”

“What,” Nick said, and Judy rolled her eyes.

“Well, I’m going, whether you are or not. So now it’s up to you: are you going to be a stick in the mud, or are you going to live a little?”

She was giving him her ‘you-and-I-both-know-what-you’re-going-to-do-because-aren’t-I-just-the-most-persuasive-person-ever’ look, the one where she was so satisfied with herself that it both irritated him and drove him crazy. 

He gave a long, drawn-out sigh, and then said, in the most defeated voice he could muster, “Let it never be said that Nick Wilde was a stick in the mud. Let’s go, Carrots.”

She grabbed his hand with a squeal and started weaving through the crowd.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Nick! You will not regret this!” she screeched. Nick watched the train thunder by and zeroed in on a couple in the front seat. They were squished together so tightly that there was really nowhere for the armadillo’s arm to go but around his companion, and she leaned into him as they sped around a turn. Nick gulped and closed his eyes. 

_I already am. ___

__

__It had been nearly two and a half months since the disastrous proposal, and Nick had been constantly trying to find the courage to tell her about his feelings. But at first he’d worried that it was too soon, and he didn’t want her to feel overwhelmed – that was the last thing he wanted – and what if she rejected him? She’d sent several looks his way that had been so intense that they’d left him stuttering and red in the face, but what if he was reading them wrong? What if she’d really just been trying to find a tactful way to tell him that there was ketchup on his face? The thought of ruining their friendship horrified him more than anything else in the world. He couldn’t stand the thought of walking into work and climbing into a chair that didn’t have a bunny sitting in it. But, more than anything, he didn’t want to be left alone. Abandonment was one of the things that Nicholas Wilde was genuinely terrified of._ _

__There were two main reasons behind this fear. They were fairly deep-rooted, and he didn’t like to pull on them, because they led to gloomy places he didn’t much like visiting. Sometimes, though, he did revisit them, and every time he did the thought of losing Judy scared him more._ _

__His father’s desertion ranked pretty high on the list of reasons. Nick could hardly remember anything about the fox, but he did know, now that he could look at the situation with an adult’s perspective, that he’d been pretty lousy dad. As a child, though, he’d had no idea what the daily glares his parents exchanged meant. He’d just known that he wanted to be just like his father. He remembered studying every expression his dad made and trying to replicate them in the mirror. He remembered finding a broken pair of glasses on the sidewalk once. His mother had helped him take the rest of the glass out of the frames, and the next evening, when his dad had leaned back in the armchair with his reading glasses on and the Zootopia Times in his hand, he’d sauntered in with his newly cleaned ‘glasses’ and the latest comic book he’d found and had copied his father’s pose to the best of his ability. His dad had looked over and winked at him, and Nick had been on Cloud Nine for the rest of the evening. He also remembered that it had been the next day that his father had screamed at his mother. When she’d tried to convince him to stay ‘for Nicky,’ his dad had shouted, “Stay for that brat? Yeah, right.”_ _

__Nick hadn’t stopped crying for five hours._ _

__And then there had been his mother. That had hurt even worse than his father, because he couldn’t be angry at her, because it wasn’t her fault. She’d always been there for him, through the thick and the thin and his first break up. Until one day, when he’d gone home and she wasn’t there anymore. Mrs. Morris from down the street had called him later that day, after he’d frantically searched through every room in the house and then checked the yard and then double-checked the house again, to tell him that his mother had died of a heart attack at her work._ _

__He hadn’t stopped crying for five days. And then he’d left the suburbs he’d grown up in and he’d never looked back._ _

__And then had come the hustling years, the ever lonely hustling years where the only person he trusted was himself. He’d met Finnick when he was fifteen, but even then he’d stayed wary, keeping his walls up and his eyelids down. Finnick had seemed to understand, because he’d never pushed for companionship, or anything, really, other than a business contract. That was the only reason Nick had ever tolerated him._ _

__And then Judy had bounded into his life, shining with ambition and happiness and love, and Nick had seen some of his former self in her, and he’d been frightened. And then had come the Night Howler case, and in the craziness that ensued she’d somehow convinced him that becoming a cop would be a good idea._ _

__And here they were, staring up at a seemingly endless wooden track. The next time the car raced by, a gust of air blasted them, and delighted screams filled their ears. Nick’s worries were washed away by his wave of excitement, and he willingly tagged along behind Judy as they moved up the line. After a minute, though, her ears drooped and he felt a rush of concern. Was she not feeling well? Had she changed her mind? Did she not want to go on the ride anymore?_ _

__He put a gentle paw on her shoulder and she looked up at him, confused._ _

__“You good, Carrots?”_ _

__She beamed up at him so brilliantly that he felt his heart skip a beat._ _

__“I’m great. This is going to be amazing!”_ _

__He laughed at her excitement, feeling warm and fuzzy all over at the pure joy on her face._ _

__“Let’s hope so.”_ _

__The teenaged cheetah working the gate gawked at Judy (For some reason she was the one they always recognized. Come on. Was the first bunny cop a title that really stood out that much more than the first fox?) and asked for an autograph before they got on the roller coaster. Judy readily agreed, and waved at the girl with a smile as the train took off._ _

__It only took approximately five seconds for Nick to realize that this had been a terrible idea. The car was so small that Judy’s thigh was pressed against his, and her ear tickled his face. He swallowed hard and tried to move over to give himself a little breathing space. Unfortunately, the plan was unsuccessful, because the ride raced around a turn and Judy was thrown against him anyway. She was laughing with exhilaration – dumb bunny always had loved a good thrill – and he found that it was contagious, because soon enough he was giggling along with her. That was Judy – always unpredictable and always excited about something. He felt an affectionate smile replace the laughter, and she looked up at him with her eyes so full of happiness that his breath caught._ _

__

__Judy had stopped trying to catch her breath about three loop-de-loops ago, but something about the look on Nick’s face left her without any oxygen at all in her lungs. Her thoughts wandered away from the Flying Serpent and back to that day a month ago when she’d woken up in Nick’s apartment, and the feelings that had flooded her mind and heart since then._ _

__She’d always been an affectionate person. Just about the only person that she’d disliked in Bunny Burrow was Gideon Grey. Other than him and his cronies, everyone had been her friend, and on the rare occasion that someone else disliked her, she’d quickly win them over with a heartfelt smile and a plate of homemade cookies._ _

__Zootopia, though she didn’t much like admitting it, had been a bit of a culture shock for her. The big city hustle and bustle couldn’t have been more different from Bunny Burrow’s relaxed atmosphere. She’d been a little taken aback when Bucky and Pronk had paraded past her without so much as a ‘hello,’ and the fact that most animals didn’t think that she could be a successful cop had surprised her. (She’d come up with a theory after Wolford had made fun of her ‘flabbergastion’ one uneventful night shift. Her reasoning was that she’d always been so confident of herself and her abilities that when she realized that others didn’t have that confidence it had come as a rather nasty shock.) But she’d come to terms with the ways of the city and handled them in her own ways. She moved along at a fairly rapid pace when there were people behind her, but she never lost her cool. She was cheerful regardless of whether others were nasty to her. She was proud of herself and the bunny that she’d become and she didn’t care what other animals thought. And she had come to absolutely adore Zootopia._ _

__Nick, on the other hand, was a different story. Sure, he was a cop, and sure, he was committed to protecting the animals that lived in it, but his attitude toward the city itself was rather lax and indifferent. She couldn’t blame him, really. He’d lived most of his life judged and criticized for being a fox, which was something that he had absolutely no control over. She still felt herself getting angry at the thought, even though Nick had spent many hours trying to convince her that it was fine, that he was used to it, that it was no big deal. All in all, he wasn’t in love with the city like she was, and that was understandable._ _

__Love. That word was getting confusing lately. She’d thought for so long that she was in love with Jonathon, and then the earth-shattering epiphany hadn’t had the good sense to show up before the guy proposed. That had left her reeling for a while. The day with Nick had been good for her, but it had only been one day, and thinking about the way her life had fallen apart in one night had left her crying herself to sleep on more than one occasion. She’d told herself that she’d never even try for a relationship again, because it hurt so badly._ _

__And then, somewhere along the line, her emotions had blown that promise up in her face, and now she was left trying to convince herself that she couldn’t pursue romance. Her past experiences (Okay, fine. Her experiences were limited.) had been negative ones, and she didn’t want any negativity this time. Because it’s not like she could just move on if she got rejected. She was talking about her partner here. If she and Nick had a falling out, it would affect the precinct and the ZPD and who knows how many other people, besides giving her parents another reason to dislike foxes. Oh, they liked Nick well enough – goodness, Mom was always calling him her ‘child from another mother’ – but if he were to break their daughter’s heart then it would rekindle old prejudices and convince both of the Hopps that the big city was bad for their daughter. And it wasn’t!_ _

__Judy had felt herself lose just a little of her enthusiasm as the line shuffled forward. Why had she had to fall for Nicholas Wilde, of all the animals in the world? She’d never liked the idea of falling in love with one’s best friend._ _

__But oh, gosh, she was head over heels. She loved all his little snarky comments, no matter how much they might irritate her at times. She loved the way he could read her like an open book, and how he always knew exactly how to make her feel better when she was having a bad day. She loved the way his eyes twinkled when he got really excited about something. She just loved him, and yet she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t._ _

__They’d been the best of friends for years – ever since the big Night Howler disaster. They’d talked on the phone almost every night when he was training at the Academy, and they’d been inseparable since Nick had started working at the ZPD. They shared a chair in meetings, they shared an office at the station, and they shared a cruiser. A lot of the officers always joked about how, put together, the two smaller animals almost equaled a good cop between them. Judy had never minded, because it was true, in a way. Alone, a fox or a bunny could only do so much, but when they were together, they were nearly unstoppable. They could almost read each other’s mind, and knew instinctively what the other was going to do or say before it was done or said – which was true both on and off duty. They spent most of their time together, to the extent that once, when Judy’d had a lot of paperwork that she’d decided to catch up on instead of going out for coffee, Nick had later told her that the barista had been almost beside herself with worry until he’d assured her that everyone’s favorite rabbit officer was absolutely fine._ _

__That was just the way it was. Nick was the yin to Judy’s yang, the night to her day, the… Nick to her Judy, really. They were friends, and she couldn’t even imagine not being friends. It was too horrific to think about._ _

__And that was why she could never tell him about her feelings for him. The thought of ruining their friendship was absolutely petrifying, and she could never take that risk just to get a crush off of her chest._ _

__She’d felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. Nick had been wearing a concerned expression on his face._ _

__“You good, Carrots?”_ _

__She’d smiled brightly at him. Even though she couldn’t be with him in the way she wanted, she was still grateful for the fact that she could spend as much time as she could with him._ _

__“I’m great. This is going to be amazing!”_ _

__He’d chuckled at her enthusiasm and let go of her shoulder._ _

__“Let’s hope so.”_ _

__When they got to the gate, the girl that was opening the gate had studied her for a minute, and then her eyes had widened in recognition. Judy had been incapable of holding back the smile that threatened to split her face. She loved people, and she loved the fact that her position meant that she could talk to just about anyone and they’d be happy to talk back to her. She’d caught a smirk on Nick’s face, and had reflected that even though he pretended to be offended by the fact that she got more attention than he did, he didn’t really mind._ _

__When they’d settled themselves into the car, she had tried not to shiver at the feeling of Nick’s body pressed against hers. The train had started moving, and Nick had shifted away from her. She had wondered why and briefly considered the fact that she could be insulted by it, but then the car had whipped around a turn and she’d been having too much of an adrenaline rush to bother with any negativity. She’d whooped with exhilaration through the loop-de-loops, and when Nick turned to look at her she’d grinned up at him._ _

__And now, here she was, breathless both from the wind in her face and Nick’s expression. She tried desperately to calm her racing heart, and she was very close to succeeding when the roller coaster twisted in such a blood-pounding way that she squealed with delight and gave up the futile effort. She could vaguely hear Nick letting out some excited hoots of his own and she smiled even wider._ _

__By the time they finally climbed off of the roller coaster, trying to walk on their wobbly legs, she was exhausted. As they made their way back into the throng of animals, she grinned up at Nick._ _

__“See, spoil sport? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”_ _

__“Well…” he pretended that he had to think and she smacked his arm, giggling._ _

__“Oh, come on, dumb fox. You loved it.”_ _

__“Did I love it?” he asked, digging in his pocket for his sunglasses. “Yes. Yes, I did.” He flicked the glasses open and slid them onto his face in his best imitation of Finnick and turned to her for her approval. She rolled her eyes. Ever since she’d admired the fennec’s technique in slipping on his shades, Nick had been trying to outdo his buddy. So far, he’d succeeded only in looking like a wanna-be gangster._ _

__“You’re never going to be as macho as him, Nick. Give it up.”_ _

__The fox pouted for about five seconds until he looked up and saw a sign promoting a new blueberry-flavored ice cream. Judy rolled her eyes at him, and he frowned._ _

__“Come on, Judy. You know you want to try it.” She raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Do I really, though?” He shrugged. _ _

__“I don’t know. But I want some, and you want me to be happy, don’t you?” He gave Judy his best puppy eyes, which they both knew would get him anything he wanted. She lasted a good thirty seconds before she caved – a personal best._ _

__“All right, you overgrown kit.”_ _

__

__The day passed in a flurry of activity and excitement. They rode the Ferris Wheel (and even though Nick had been skeptical of the docility after the Flying Serpent, he’d found himself enjoying it immensely) and the Zipper and got hyped on cotton candy. They went through the ghost house and admired the flowers on display in one of the big tents and danced – well, Judy danced and Nick… moved – to a live band. They were leaving the hall of mirrors when he caught his friend’s eyelids drifting closed and he smiled to himself._ _

__“All right, Fluff. It’s time for beddy-bye.”_ _

__Judy scowled at him._ _

__“Do not talk to me like I’m five.”_ _

__Nick grinned – he loved how feisty she got when she was sleepy – and put a gentle hand on her back, guiding her through the crowd._ _

__“Whatever you say, my dear.”_ _

__“Niiick!”_ _

__

__Nick had always enjoyed walking around downtown. It was only a ten-minute walk to the subway station, but he liked looking at the neon signs and the bustling sidewalk. Judy, he knew, liked it too, but one look at her face told him that she was too tired to really appreciate it._ _

__“You going to make it to the station, Carrots?” he asked. She nodded, a drowsy grin spreading across her face._ _

__“You’re almost as bad as my dad, Nick,” she said. “I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”_ _

__“I know,” Nick said, and he did. But something in him enjoyed looking out for his bunny. He made a mental note that it annoyed her, though, and determined to be more subtle in the future. “You just looked a little tired, and it wouldn’t be too much trouble to ride the bus instead. That’s all.”_ _

__

__Judy smiled at her fox. It may have annoyed her a bit, but she actually quite liked it when Nick got protective. She felt so loved, and she enjoyed the fuzziness that accompanied said warmth when she thought about the fact that Nick really cared about her. She kept the smile on her face as she asked him, “What was your favorite ride?”_ _

__“The Ferris Wheel,” he said. Her eyes widened in delight._ _

__“Really? Not something more adrenaline-pumping, like the swings?”_ _

__“Please,” Nick sniffed. “The swings were hardly adrenaline-pumping. And, to answer your question, yes, the Wheel was my favorite.”_ _

__“Mine, too,” Judy said softly. “I love it when the carriage stops at the top and you can look over all the park and it feels like you’re on top of the world.”_ _

__She and Nick smiled at each other before coming to a stop at a crosswalk. When the light changed, Judy double-checked the traffic lights before starting across._ _

__“Yeah,” Nick said, “it’s pretty great.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Judy echoed, and she was starting to say something else when brakes screeched in her ears and Nick screamed, “Carrots!” and everything went black._ _

__

__Nick fidgeted in his chair, trying very hard to keep the tears at bay. The heart moniter beeped steadily beside the bed, telling him that Judy was still alive, at least. It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless._ _

__His bunny had been crossing the street – she’d only been walking, she’d been perfect, the streetlights had lit her up from behind and she’d been beautiful – when a stupid driver had decided to run the stupid light and had hit her. Fortunately – or as fortunately as anything could get in this situation – he’d had the sense to run the light slowly, so Judy hadn’t been killed, but she had gone down and Nick had felt his heart stop._ _

__Nick had thought he’d known what panic was before then. He’d been wrong. Everything had seemed to slow down and he couldn’t get to Judy and the car was coming and he couldn’t stop it and it was going to hit her and they were just on the Ferris Wheel and the night couldn’t end this way and this was all wrong._ _

__Time had slowed down, and he couldn’t reach her, and in the second before the car hit her he’d screamed “Carrots!” and then she’d been on the ground._ _

__He’d been ready to kill the driver. It didn’t really matter that the driver was a rhino that could have had him in worse shape than Judy was in less than ten seconds. He’d been starting towards the guy, fully intent on either mutilating or possibly completely destroying, when a paramedic had tapped him on the shoulder._ _

__“Sir?” she’d said gently, “is the victim a relative of yours?”_ _

__It was the word ‘victim’ that had snapped him out of the trance he’d been in, and he’d nodded wordlessly. It was the first deception he’d used since his hustling days, and during the ambulance ride he’d wondered listlessly if it would come back to bite him in the butt, but it hadn’t. Bogo had spoken up for him, and he’d even placed a sympathetic hoof on Nick’s shoulder when he visited the room._ _

__Nick hadn’t left his post by Judy’s chair for the last two and a half days. The doctors and nurses all tried, but he could not be moved. He insisted that she was going to wake up soon (to which all the medics agreed) and that he had to be here when she did (to which all the medics did not agree)._ _

__It was so unfair. She hadn’t even gotten hurt doing police work. He knew that she’d always had a secret admiration for the veterans, the ones who had pushed through pain for their city, and that if she had to be injured she would bear the pain with pride if it was for her work._ _

__But this hadn’t been._ _

__“I’m so sorry, Carrots,” he said, his voice harsh from disuse and choked back tears. “I should have told you. I should have warned you. I should have…” his voice broke, and he felt the tears push their way out of his eyes. “This is so unfair! You don’t deserve this. All your life you’ve only lived to help people. You deserve a medal and everything you could possibly want, not this. It should have been me, you know. I didn’t spend my life helping people. Most of it I spent swindling. I’m not a good person, not like you. This should have been me. It should have…” he broke down completely, and he buried his face in his arms on her bed. He’d been crying for who knows how long when he felt a gentle hand on his neck and looked up with red rimmed eyes._ _

__“You foxes,” Judy said, before hacking a cough, “s-so emotional.”_ _

__Nick was smiling and crying at the same time (and Judy was, too, but he wasn’t sure why she was), and feeling more awkward than he had in a long time, and feeling, above all, overwhelmingly thankful._ _

__“And no, by the way,” Judy said, when they’d calmed down. He looked at her, surprised._ _

__“No what?”_ _

__“It shouldn’t have been you,” Judy said. “I’m glad it was me.” Nick raised a hand in outrage, but she shushed him and kept talking. “If it hadn’t been me,” she began, and Nick could tell that she was about to start on one of her long-winded speeches, and even as he felt a rush of affection for her and her passion for everything, he laid a finger over her mouth to stop her._ _

__“Before you begin, Carrots,” he said, “I just want to say something.” Judy opened her mouth in protest, and he was almost tempted to chicken out and not say anything, but he took a deep breath and crossed his fingers and blurted, “I love you.” Judy went very quiet, and her eyes widened until they were the size of saucers. Nick felt more silly and inadequate than he’d every felt in his life. “I know it’s silly,” he said, “but you’re amazing and wonderful and beautiful and I love you so much that I don’t know how I’ve kept quiet until now.” She was opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water and Nick tried not to panic but he could feel himself losing control and the next time he spoke his voice was an octave higher. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. I love you. I mean, I love you as a friend, besides loving you... that way, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship and I love you and I’m absolutely terrible at this, but I just want you to know – argh! I knew I’d mess this up!”_ _

__He continued to talk about how bad he was at this and how much he loved her and how ridiculous this whole situation was until he suddenly realized that Judy was looking at him with her purple eyes filled with more tenderness than he’d ever seen in them before, and he completely lost both his train of thought and the muscle memory required to breathe. It was absolutely silent for a moment, and then she said, “You dumb fox.” He stared at her for a minute, and then she repeated it, more loudly this time – ‘you dumb fox’ – and then she kissed him._ _

__It wasn’t the smooth smooch he’d imagined giving her for the last forever. It was messy, and he could tell that she was as nervous as he was, but he was kissing her, and that made it perfect. He cupped her face with his hands, careful to avoid the bruises from where she’d hit the ground. When they finally pulled apart, both breathing hard, he could feel the stupidest grin he’d ever worn in his life plastered on his face. Judy looked as silly as he did, and he loved her then more than he ever had in his life._ _

__“Sly bunny,” he said._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... Hospital confessions are way overused. I'm sorry. I just have a weakness for them.
> 
> Sorry about the lack of italics - I posted this in a rush and didn't have time to go through and format it.
> 
> I hope you liked it!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh! I don't even know what happened here. It just... Judy... Nick... ahhhh...  
> Okay. I'm calm. But trust me when I say that this makes me feel as unsatisfied as you. (If you were feeling unsatisfied. Maybe it's just me.) But it just seemed to stop here and I couldn't keep going. Maybe I'll add a second part to it sometime, because THEY NEED TO GET TOGETHER!  
> Calming down.  
> I hope you liked it! Have a great day!


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